Finding Your Soul Mate - When Love Is Not Meant To Be

We've been spoiled by Hollywood romantic movies and by reading novels that shred our heart to pieces and make us fall in love with the idea of ROMANTIC LOVE. It's beautiful to think that there is one unique person out there, one that will fill that empty void in our hearts with just one word - our true love, our one and only soul-mate.

We've all experienced that quick glance that has made us look again, while a giant question mark takes over our brain as we wonder if he is the ONE. If you rewind that particular moment, you'll most likely find that you've deluded yourself into thinking you are Jennifer Lopez in Maid in Manhattan, or Meg Ryan in You've Got Mail. This, of course, is not to say that love at first sight can't ever happen, but it's unlikely to happen. That first glance could lead to a very strong attraction and the emotion of love can develop as the relationship progresses. But that first strong emotion you felt at the sight of that elusive stranger, that made you all tingly inside, losing track of time, and smiling like an idiot as you walked home... that's being in-lust, not in-love.

If you thrive in fantasy land, like many of us do, then you're one step ahead than the object of your affection. He's probably thinking: "She was kind of cute. I hope she calls me so we can hook up." and that makes perfect sense, but not to you! You're a novelist and know exactly how this is all going to turn out at the end. So what else could he possibly be if not your true soul-mate? The one you've been waiting for all these years!

Reality check -

There is a possibility that you might have found your soul-mate, but here is the problem, we all have more than one soul-mate, and just because you've found that long-awaited person, it doesn't mean that you'll get a chance to be with him. In these cases, it is best to chill, and do some serious breathing exercises. Richard Bach had it right when he said: “If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don't, they never were."

As souls living a human experience, we've had many lives and many opportunities to share with many other souls. (Notice the overuse of the word many.) Over the course of these lives, we've come close to many, not just one. And there is a giant stack of files labeled unfinished business waiting for us in heaven. What does that have to do with your novel? It means that you might have discovered one of your closest soul-mates, but if he needs to grow spiritually through a specific experience next to someone else, you might as well be invisible. He won't stay. No matter how important or how close the two of you were in 1877. It doesn't work that way.

On a subconscious level, we all have a sense of responsibility towards the developmental growth of our own Spirit. On that level, we understand that the only reason why we came to this world is to get high grades so that we can move on to the next grade level. Be better. Wiser. Happier with ourselves. Yes! Life is nothing but a long-term school. You must learn all the skills pertaining to the registered courses of your present lifetime and get good grades. Or did you think that you came to this world to watch Carl Gable and Vivien Leigh kiss, or to read Pride And Prejudice twice a year? It's okay to dream, but pinch yourself from time to time. If you open your eyes and you are still not in Kansas, try clicking the heels three times!

This is the part where things start getting scary. You start stalking your soul-mate in an attempt to make him understand that YOU ARE the only woman he could ever be happy with. Seriously?! Are you that confident? Meanwhile, you are the protagonist in your own novel, even though it's not turning out the way you hoped, but you play along anyways because you figure you're right in the middle of it, where all the turmoil takes place. It will be a matter of weeks before you arrive to that happy ending where he kisses you, asks you where you've been all his life, and the wind blows your soft brown locks like a Beyoncé video right at that magical moment where he kisses you passionately and makes you swear you'll be his forever.

GET REAL! If it's not meant to be, it's not going to happen. Have I made it clear enough for you?

Yes, it's beautiful to dream and love, and fall in-lust, but take it for what it is and learn to appreciate what you have in your life at this moment, because those around you are the ones you chose at the time you reincarnated, and they are in your life to teach you the material you need to learn in your grade level. Be a good student and don't procrastinate or fall asleep in class. Love your self. Love your life. Love your family. Love your friends. If you can't shake off that novel in your head, then write it. Find some creative outlet to give some life to your fantasy world. There is nothing wrong with living in La-La-Land. I am a permanent resident and welcome anyone who wants to be my neighbor.